How Much Is Inside Cookie Dough Ice Cream?

By Kirk Anderson 11/4/04

This "Rant" is a direct ripoff from Cockeyed.com. I have said it on our links page, but Rob Cockerham's website is one of the main inspirations for this website. Cockeyed.com has a whole section dedicated to finding out how much is inside of things. It's really brilliant. It's gotten him featured on NPR and the NY Times.

I've thought many times about suggesting this episode to Mr. Cockerham, but heaven knows he's got enough of his own ideas. I decided to take it on myself.

The layout of these pages and even the tone, is ripped off from Rob Cockerham. I just want to make sure he gets the proper recognition. Visit his site.

How Much Is Inside Cookie Dough Ice Cream?

Cookie Dough Ice Cream is my second favorite flavor of ice cream, right after Rocky Road.

I'm not sure when it became accessible to the public, but I remember it first in the late '80s.

Before that, it was a military secret. Like the ARPANET.

Despite my great love for it, I am plagued by two questions: How much cookie dough is really in the ice cream, and is it really cookie dough?

I sought out to find the answers. I know this isn't as important as what the I.A.E.A. does, but I still needed to find out.

 

 

For this experiment, I used Ben & Jerry's brand of Cookie Dough Ice Cream. It was the first one I knew of and I'm willing to bet that's it's the best selling. I used a one pint carton.

If you look on the ingredients of Cookie Dough Ice Cream, "cookie dough" isn't listed. But there are many ingredients that you'd expect to find in cookie dough, like sugar, egg yolks, cocoa, and my favorite, carrageenan!

 

But look inside! Yummy chunks of raw cookie dough!

Cookie Dough Ice Cream is America's favorite ice cream that incorporates raw food.

The other two are:

 

Carrot Cucumber Ice Cream

and. . .

 

Sausage Link Ice Cream.

***

Continue reading or . . . Go read Everybody Pees

***

I had to figure out how to melt the ice cream to get to all the yummy cookie dough.

I first thought of setting the carton on a burner.

Then I thought better of it.

 

 

Then I thought I'd put it directly into the oven.

 

I was afraid that this would interfere with a later step of my experiment.

 

Finally, I decided on putting the ice cream into a strainer and letting it melt into a glass bowl.

 

I tried to speed up the process by using a blow dryer. But it seemed to melt some of the chocolate and I wanted my cookies as choclatey as possible.

 

So I waited. After a half hour, not much of the ice cream had melted, but you could see more of the cookie dough emerging from its frozen coffin, like a Paleolithic mastadon thawing out of a 11,000 year slumber in an Arctic glacier.

I added the knives to lift the bottom of the strainer out of the pool of vanilla slop that was developing under it.

 

It became pretty obvious that this part of the experiment was going to take a while. So I sat down to watch "Mission:Impossible"

I had checked it out of the library and it seemed appropriate.

 

After one hour of thawing, more dough was surfacing, but it was still slow.

 

After two hours, there were several distinct chunks of cookie dough hanging out on the edges.

I was growing impatient.

 

I gave up the idea of collecting all of the melted cream and decided to "wash" off the rest. I used cold water to keep the chocolate from melting as it had with the blow dryer.

 

When I was done, I had about twenty separate chunks of "cookie dough" along with several spare pieces of chocolate and some gooey stuff.

 

It was at this point that I had the disturbing revelation that the chunks of "cookie dough" looked quite a bit like dog food. I suppose it was the shape.

 

I poured the rest of the creamy vanilla dross back into the carton from whence it came.

 

Then, I returned the carton to the freezer for the funny practical joke I call. "Honey do you want some Cookie Dough Ice Cream but you secretly don't know there's no cookie dough in it?"

 

Though it wasn't my prefered way of doing it, I mushed together the "cookie dough" chunks into two balls that I determined to be "cookie sized" and put them onto a cookie sheet.

 

They looked surprizingly good. Almost like actual cookies.

 

My wife, Sara, came home.

She made fun of me for wasting my time with this.

She also told me to preheat the oven. She suggested 350 degrees.

She knows a lot more about making cookies than I do.

 

I slid the "cookies" into the oven and hoped for the best.

 

After five minutes, I looked in on the boys.

They were looking pretty good. I was beginning to think I might get some cookies out of this.

 

As time progressed though, the "cookies" started looking more runny and less like cookies.

The picture to the right was taken at ten minutes. They look OK, but the bubbles on top were really thin. It looked like the whole glob was boiling.

 

I decided to pull them out of the oven. I let them cool for a few minutes.

Then I started to the task of scraping them off the cookie sheet.

 

They were crispy. Like something between a cookie and peanut brittle.

It's possible that I over-cooked them, but Sara said she thought that the dough probably didn't have any egg in it itself.

I took several bites of one of the cookies.

It wasn't very good. It probably would have been more useful as a throwing star.

 

 

Conclusion:

 

So now we return to the first two questions:

 

How much cookie dough is really in Cookie Dough Ice Cream?

About two cookies worth.

Is it really cookie dough?

Only using the broadest definition of "cookie".

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